Why does it seem we have such a hard time discussing our sexual appetites openly?

When you’re interested in someone romantically and you begin to date, get comfortable communicating like adults about sex. For context what I’m referring to is adult active conversations about each other’s sexual appetite. Be open to ask where their lines are, maybe even what the other is comfortable discussing for the time. Dare yourself to be as open as you’re comfortable with, and really take the opportunity share deep thoughts about how you view the world sexually.

(Pay attention here)…

DON’T PUSH! These conversations need to be open, honest but above all mutual on all sides. Reluctance on either side is grounds for a deeper conversation that’s for another time, and I digress..The idea is to create an environment that may allow you to lay a healthy foundation for trust in other areas.

In fact, in a study done by Temple University, couples that simply discussed sex openly, showed evidence of overall relationship satisfaction. Something important to know here is that openly discussing sex doesn’t mean as a couple you’re going to have more sex, nor should that be the goal when having the discussions. The goal should be simple, that is both sexual appetites will be respected and nurtured.

– Leo

Leo Croft MBA|MSL
Author/Behavioral Scientist


1. Montesi JL, Fauber RL, Gordon EA, Heimberg RG. The specific importance of communicating about sex to couples’ sexual and overall relationship satisfaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 2011;28(5):591-609. doi:10.1177/0265407510386833